Have you been disappointed in love so many times that you feel like the Poster Child for Hooked on Losers Anonymous? Is your divorce over but you still feel the shock of it all?
If you look up “Self-Sabotage” in the dictionary…..Is your picture there?
Stop! This train is going nowhere fast.
We all tend to sabotage ourselves when it comes to Love. Even I do, and I KNOW what tricks my Saboteur uses. Even though I know that I know that I need to be open to all possibilities when I create new love, I still withdraw when I am hurt.
My personal challenge is to keep a foot in the door of my heart so that I never go back to the isolation that was comfortable for me for so many years. I continue to be my own Best Client and use my own tools to keep my Love Vibe high and humming!
How do you know if your Saboteur is wreaking havoc in your Soul Mate Attraction Plan? Here are 5 sure signs that self-sabotage is flying under the radar of your Love Life:
1. Super High Achievement and Success in Business, Career and Philanthropy: Highly successful women are goal focused go getters. If anything, the lack of love has fed their highly charged passion for success. These women have zero time to focus on love and their careers fill in the gaps. Time has slipped by for these women and many are dismayed to find themselves still single in their 40s.
2. Passionate Relationships With Animals What, you say? How could my love for my horse, dog, parakeet or cat be in the way of Love? Animals are one of the sweet treasures of life and my own Personal Comfort Animal (Thank You Boston Legal for this great term) Bella is a blessing to me, BUT, and this is a big but…if you aren’t careful, you can build a soul mate relationship with your four legged friend that steals your time from finding True Love.
3. Thinking You Need To Change Something Before You Find Love. Do you think you need to lose weight, get out of debt, move to a new city or find a new job before the “timing is right” for manifesting your Soul Mate? This is an old Saboteur trick and works like a charm. You see, there will always be some hurdle to overcome before you ‘qualify’ in your own eyes to prioritize a Soul Mate Attraction Plan.
4. Setting Frivolous Deal Breakers In Your Soul Mate Search. Now, violence of any kind, alcoholism, drug addiction….all are deal breakers we can all agree on, but, and this is almost as big of a but as the last one….I hear the most self defeating list of deal breakers from my clients that you can imagine. There are some great men out there…kind, gentle, giving men who are aching to pour their Love into a woman’s heart. Many lonely women are not even looking in their direction because of self defeating deal-breakers they have set their hearts on. Some include, height (vertically challenged), hair (follicly challenged) and athleticism. Believe it or not, even vegetarianism, smoking, drinking and sleep patterns can all dictate a deal breaker mentality that may not be serving you. Something to think about….
5. Constant Inner Chatter that it could be Too Late and/or that there is Nobody Out There For You. The mind is certainly the Saboteur’s Playground. You may have a regret or two, you may wish that you could reconnect to a lost love…welcome to the club. There were good things in even the rockiest of relationships and these sparkling spots can blind you to the fact that there was a very good reason that relationship ended. If you are passionate and committed to find a partner and you will not stop until you find him, you can overcome any obstacle. Learning to control your thoughts and build confidence in your adorable self instead of constantly thinking about your singleness or your past is the goal.
So, has Self-Sabotage been showing up in your life? Are you ready to take a stand for Love and put your Law of Attraction skills on the fast track? Fab! Start by taking this quiz so you can see which Sabotage Style you are working with: Soulmate Quiz
PS One last form of self sabotage that is common among all of the four saboteur styles? It is called the “I Already Know All That Syndrome.” If you feel yourself saying these words, here is a thought for you…
“What if there is something to this?” Reach out:
Catherine, there are so many ways we stop love from coming into our lives. Our attitude determines a lot of it. When my late husband died I was 40 years old. I enjoyed being married and couldn’t imagine being a widow for the rest of my life.
I knew I could find love again. That was my attitude. I was able to meet a wonderful man through online dating and we were married 18 months ago.
As a fellow relationship coach, I have heard so many crazy excuses for not finding love and you have hit the nail on the head with this article. Thank you so much, Catherine! Take care, Michelle