Breakup Is A Rocky Road – 5 Step Process To Get Unstuck

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Thank you Kimalee, powerful words.

Rocky Road

She’s standing right in front of you
fully clothed
though she feels
vulnerable, naked, and exposed.

She wants you to look at her
like you did when you just first met
with awe, interest, and fascination.

Don’t look past her;
don’t pretend to see her
when you’ve really been
looking at somebody else.

She’s at a rocky road,
walking on eggshells
trying to work things out

but you might come around too late
right when she’s ready
to walk out the door
into another man’s waiting arms

Beautiful words that might have pierced your heart.  Poetry in lyrics or literature has a way of cutting through the mind’s bullshit and reaching your heart.  It is just about impossible to move on from the past if you stay guarded and closed.  A poem like this is a great self help tool.  Here is what to do:

1. Which part of the poem touched you?  Go back and read it again.  Stick with it and breathe.  Notice if you tend to hold your breath when something moves you.

2. Notice where you are feeling uneasy.  Does the idea of your ex bother you?  Is the emotion in your mind?

3. Do a body check to see if you are feeling any tightness, restriction or aching in your belly, chest or throat.  Take a breath, close your eyes and tune in.  Perhaps your ears are heating up or a shiver hits you.  Take a breath.

4. Lay your hand on the part of your body that is holding on and press in as you take a deep breath.  If you are so inclined, go ahead and cry.  There is something to the Let It Go message… (Fresh Start Tip:  Looking in the mirror and talking to yourself eye to eye is a proven tool in changing your mindset.  For one week, start your day looking into your own eyes, hand on your heart and say, “Even though I am unsure about the future, I will figure it out and be fine.” Repeat 3 times.)

5. Wash, Rinse, Repeat.  There is a reason you are tight, restricted and aching.  I may not explain it exactly right but I know that your brain and body have built a safety suit around your deepest heart.  There is not a snowman’s chance in hell of getting close to you until you figure out a way to unlock or turn off that force field.

Repeat this 5 step process as often as you wish.  You will get unstuck, I promise.  It comes in slow steady stages.  Look for small signs of positive change in your life.  As you get unstuck, it may not show up in your love life first.  Any change in fortune or good luck that happens is a sign that your are moving in the right direction.  (Fresh Start Tip: Be sure to include a heartfelt thank you when you notice any positivity coming your way. I recommend starting a gratitude journal)

Rocky Road written by: Kimalee Jones
Click Here to Follow Kimalee:  Poetry on a Roll

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(VIDEO) How To Develop Your Naughty Side While You Are Single

share save 171 16 (VIDEO) How To Develop Your Naughty Side While You Are Single

bigstock True Love 732162 300x200 (VIDEO) How To Develop Your Naughty Side While You Are Single

Practice now for great sex soon!

Why not?

What better time than when you are between men to hone up on some great man pleasing techniques so you can treat your new guy to fantastic sex. Do you know what men love? Has a past partner taught you how to be extraordinary in bed? Probably not.

Having a great sex life doesn’t guarantee a close relationship but it sure doesn’t hurt. Fulfilling sex is the epoxy that rocks you, especially in the beginning when the chemistry is flowing and you can’t get enough of each other. It is almost unfair…it is so hot and easy and everything you do together sizzles. Why does it always seem to fizzle?

Could it be that you are a little undereducated in the How To Please A Man department?  I know I was.  I look back and realize that loss of sexual interest was a killer in all of my failed relationships.  Somewhere along the line, sex stopped being fun.

Time goes by, resentments grow, life interferes and you may just end up breaking up or stuck alone even though you are in a couple, if you know what  I mean. Sex once adored and craved may have become a battle ground. What a mess. Right now you may be like me…super happy to be single. While that is true, I am open to being sexual should the opportunity present itself and I am opening my mind to the pleasure of sex as a single because I can, it is fun and it feels really good.

Now that I am becoming more educated in sex for pleasure and embracing my single life and the solo sex that goes along with it, I am excited to learn about how to please a man sexually and look forward to my next partnership.

I may be a slow learner. I know it is a life long recovery from my Catholic upbringing to love and enjoy sex. It is risky to date these days and finding a man with chemistry is a very rare thing in the online dating world. I am a serial monogamist and am eager to have a new partner. While I am waiting, I am reading and researching and getting ready.

I found this little video along the way and it is so purrrfect for me. It is all about, dare I, Talking Dirty, why men love it and why it is worth it for this grown up catholic girl to step out of my comfort zone and be the kind of partner a man will hold on to.

Click Here: Why men love when you talk dirty  (and EXACTLY what to say without feeling embarassed)

I wonder if you are as curious as I am.

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Do Your Friends Think You Should Breakup?

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bigstock Upset Couple Sitting On Bed Se 6432266 300x242 Do Your Friends Think You Should Breakup?

I know I need to breakup…I just can’t do it!

Stuck in an on again off again relationship? One minute you are hopeful that it is going to work out after all and the next you are pissed at yourself for letting your partner back into your life.

When you still have sexual chemistry and tumble into bed for mad fun while arguing during the rest of your waking hours, that just complicates the issues. Sex with your honey may feel delicious but being treated disrespectfully later stings like crazy.

Here are seven signs that you really need to move on.

1.  Your partner does not have a job or money and you are paying for everything. This seems obvious but if your guy has been promising you he will get a job when he gets his shit together and it is going on 2 years….WTF.

2.  When you try to confront your partner with what is not working and you fight, call each other names and you always have to back down for the sake of peace in your house.

3.  If your guy is hanging out with his friends more than he is hanging out with you and disappears for days at a time with no contact and then when he comes around he just wants sex. If you still care for him and the sex feels good, you give it up and then pay feeling like shit the next day.

4.  You feel alone even when you guys are together.

5.  You stay with him because you know when he __________(fill in the blank: grows up a little, finishes school, gets a job, stops drinking) he will be the perfect guy. Really?

6.  You put his needs and his excuses ahead of yourself so much that you lose yourself and your own life and interests. The more you pour into his life, the more he neglects you and your needs.

7.  Your friends have been bugging you for months to just let go and move on. You are annoyed but you know in your heart is true. You know you deserve better but he comes around sweet talking you and you fall into it all over again.

If you recognize yourself in any of these sad scenarios, your friends, family and I took a poll and we say….It is time to move on. I know it isn’t easy and that it is crazy to think that you can still care for someone who is so mean when the relationship is so clearly broken

You will miss your partner like crazy for awhile.

There is nothing you can do about that fact but accept it. It will take time, patience and the support of your friends to get over him, but you can do it. You deserve to be happy.

Don’t Give Him Another Chance

If you have taken him back before, it may be harder for you to say no and mean it. The best thing you can do is to detach from him and practice being alone. Don’t be afraid of being alone…there is nothing lonelier than being in a relationship where you are invisible to your partner.

There are three things you can do to help yourself break it off:

1.  Remove your partner from your social media feeds. Stop stalking him online and reading his updates, seeing who he hangs with and what he is doing without you.

2.  Have one of your friends be your Breakup Buddy. You need someone you can call when you are weak and want to be with your STBX (Soon To Be Ex) for any reason at all. Having a friend be your 911 when you are crazy enough to want him again is super helpful. A non judgmental and mature friend can bump you into reality.

3.  The Rubber Band Torture: This is serious business and wishing that partner out of your life is just not good enough. Sometimes you have to bring out the big guns. Put a rubber band on your wrist and every time you think of your STBX, snap yourself. I am serious. The brain hates pain and will eventually lead your thoughts away from your ex so you can stop snapping that blasted rubber band.

Drastic? No.

You are so worth it. You deserve respect, kindness, compassion and true love. If you have been settling for less, it is time that you step up to the plate and take care of YOU.

Need an extra boost of confidence for your new life? Check out The Breakup Cleanse: 28 Day Detox to wash that partner out of your mind and body, read more here: Breakup Cleanse

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Is A Furious 14 Year Old Holding Your Love Life Hostage?

share save 171 16 Is A Furious 14 Year Old Holding Your Love Life Hostage?

meangirl Is A Furious 14 Year Old Holding Your Love Life Hostage?What the popular girl said: “I love to flirt.”  (What you heard: “I’ve got it and you don’t.”)

What was said:  “It’s not my fault that guys are so easy’. (What you heard: “I’ve got it and you don’t stand a snowman’s chance in hell of ever having it.”)

What was said: “It’s just the way I am.” ( What you heard: “I am made different than you. There’s something wrong with you.”)

Chances are that back in the day, you were the insecure and not popular girl.  At some level a physical memory of feeling hopeless and disconnected from the popular group acts like a fuse.  This fuse stands always ready to carry a spark to the heart of that very memory.  A song from back then can bring back a stab of pain.

When you were 13 through 15 and your friends were mean to you, your brain was flooded with stress chemicals– “This feels terrible…let’s make sure this doesn’t happen again.” Like an early warning system, you will feel this feeling everytime you try to trust again unless you do something to undo the fear/anxiety cycle set into place in your teenage years.

It is the natural chemistry of your body that creates the “Oh no, there is something wrong here” feeling.  It is your natural defense system warning you about pain.  When someone hurts your feelings it stops you dead in your tracks, doesn’t it?  This is supposed to happen.  You have to decide if that inner circle person should stay or go.  The earlier you make that call, the easier it is to walk it out.

But, you don’t want to evict someone from your inner circle too quickly.  At some point in your past, someone really hurt you and that experience left a neuro-chemical bookmark designed to help you avoid that feeling.  Ironically, no matter how hard you try,  life deals a string of similar hurts along the road to right now.

These people in the past who have hurt your feelings have trained your brain to “RUN!” before you get hurt.  If you are ready to change your brain, you keep the inner circle person around.  It is the perfect lab for your new chemistry experiments!

When you address the hurt-feelings feeling physically by using your brain chemistry to reverse itself, you close the book on the past experiences for good. 

Breakups of any kind are always accompanied by a hurricane of stress chemicals.  The brain is on auto-pilot when it comes to shock and personal betrayal ranks high in neuro-chemical responses.

Adolescent crushes are dramatic and traumatic. Imagine one of your adult breakups.  Now multiply it by a thousand.  I sure wouldn’t want to go back to that time! There are very good reasons our memories fade.  We just need to make sure the chemical lights are out before we slam the door!

Through my divorce healing, I am learning how to let go of those memories that are still plugged in and receiving stress chemicals from my very efficient inner chemical factory. I am amazed to discover that I am actually experiencing feelings without thought for the first time ever.

I have a hurt-feelings feeling, an ache in my upper chest and throat, that is at the bottom of any disappointment, no matter what the category of life is pushing my buttons at the moment.  I am still getting to know that feeling.  On a scale of 1 to 10 I can get to 10 easily when recalling a past relationship breakup.

 When your neuro-chemicals are raging through your body screaming for your attention, they are also over-riding your rational thinking, intuitive guidance and immune system.  You are blinded, by your own biology, to optimistic, hopeful  and solution oriented thinking.

EFT, breathing, music, eating, going outside, feeding treats to the cats, taking walks and drinking water all turn off my hot faucet and tap into the brain soothing chemicals that bring relief.   Once the hurt-feelings feeling is gone, then I look at the life issue and ask these three questions:  What is working here?  What is not working?  What do I want instead?

xoxo

Contact Catherine for a free phone consult to discuss if you have an old teenage memory that is keeping you single.

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Who is YOUR Celebrity Crush?

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Cougar Bait

 

I know that is random but, who is your celebrity crush?

I love Patti Stanger and have watched some of her matchmaking shows more than once. She is not afraid to speak her mind and I like that about her.

She always asks her dating and mating prospects, “Who is your celebrity crush?” It works to help Patti know the appearance type the client is looking for. It also helps the client by bringing a bit of clarity to your soul mate search.

My celebrity crush is Adam Levine, the front man from Maroon 5, in case you are not familiar with him. I became enamored with him a couple of years ago when I saw him on The Voice. I think he is adorable.

He meets the dark and handsome standards and I have never been with a dark haired man. Who knows if it is a sign that the next man I am with will not be my “type” whatever that is.

So who is YOUR celebrity crush? Who makes you smile whenever they show up on TV, Movies or the cover of magazines? If you could have a fantasy date with a celebrity, and you knew they were going to say yes for sure, who would you pick.

This is a great exercise for getting ready for new love again. I wonder if your self esteem is back to normal yet. If your self concept is too low, your mind won’t let you play the celebrity crush game. That inner bossy bitch of yours will poke at you with thoughts like:

This is stupid.

No celebrity would ever look twice at me.

What difference does it make, he wouldn’t ever pick someone like me.

It will make me feel worse to think about a person who would never love me back.

I don’t believe in celebrity crushes.

The truth is that playing games like this serves to jolt your imagination into action. Imagination is the workroom of the mind. Your imagination has been under tremendous strain trying to get you through your heartbreaks and out into life again.

Isn’t it exhausting to pretend everything is fine when it isn’t? It is your imagination that helps you cope every day.

Setting your imagination free to pick a celebrity crush and let yourself list the reasons you like him will feed a very hungry part of your imagination…the part that likes to be happy and have fun.

You depend on your imagination to be happy and have fun. Do what you can to wake that up in yourself. Life is better that way for sure but that isn’t the reason to focus on fun and happy. The biggest reason is that men adore women who are fun and happy.

Let me repeat that: Men can’t resist a woman who is fun and happy.

So drop me a comment and tell me, who is your celebrity crush and why do you crush on him (or her)?

A step-by-step guide to finding and keeping the man of your dreams, Click Here: Capture His Heart and Keep Him Forever

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Do Men Read You As Unavailable? Ask Yourself 3 Questions

share save 171 16 Do Men Read You As Unavailable? Ask Yourself 3 Questions

 Do Men Read You As Unavailable? Ask Yourself 3 Questions

“You come across as an ice queen, you know.”

He said it to Jeanie so matter of factly it snapped her head back.

“What?” She whimpered back. She had just listed the faults of her latest ex and the horrible breakup to her newest friendly bartender and expected him to rush to her defense. The guy had cheated on her after all. Jeanie, a Rapunzel, is always in the middle of drama and trauma.

“When you talk about your breakup, you are cold as steel.”

“Why wouldn’t I be. He CHEATED!” She hissed back at him.

“Settle down”, he said in a much gentler tone, “Everyone gets hurt. Everyone is somebody’s Ex. I see the men look at you as you go on and on about how bad it is for you. They go out of the way to stay out of your way. You come across as super needy.”

Jeanie’s shoulders slumped. As pissed off as she was at the bartender who was giving her the same line all his brother drink servers had told her in the past, she knew what he said was the truth.

Do Men See You As Unavailable?

If you are living day to day guarding yourself against heartbreak or can’t get your ex out of your mind, you could be projecting an “I’m fragile and easily hurt, I just think I am available” image. Living careful is no way to live.

Not only that, the “I think I am available” image or vibe is amazingly efficient at keeping the “right” type of man out of your experience. How do I know this to be true?

Exactly, how many prospects with real potential have you dated in the last year? I rest my case!

If you think you might be sending out this anti love vibe when you think you are sending an “I know I am ready for a man to build a future with ” vibe, it is wise to ask a couple of key questions:

1. What is working in your life right now? Scan the major life areas, friendships, creativity, career, finances, health, family, romance and life purpose. Rank every area from 1 to 10. As hard as it is, you must wrestle with your mind and choose to focus on the parts of your life that are better than the others. It is your focus on what is working in your life that makes you seem warmer and more approachable.

2. What are the advantages of being single? You might not come up with many at first, but as you work at it, I bet you surprise yourself. Once your list is complete, go through each item and decide mindfully whether or not you are negotiable on it.

This self reflection may be just what the doctor ordered in helping you discover why you are still single. You are used to living alone and there may be some deal breakers that you need to undo.

3. If you still don’t see yourself as unapproachable, ask a close friend, coach or pastor to go through your list with you. Her view of your current state of affairs or lack of (sorry, couldn’t resist) may add extra dimension to your self exploration.

Putting It All Together

Once you unearth the parts of you ok with your singleness, you will have one of two outcomes. One, you may indeed embrace your singleness with new passion and just enjoy it or two, you will find yourself in the right place and the right time more often where you will meet men with real potential.

Talk about a win-win!

What if you could wash your Ex right out of your mind? Wishful thinking? No. The very best thing you can do is to detox your body and mind. Because of current brain research, you can now walk through your breakup healing with a step by step plan.

As I found out when I recovered from my divorce, there really is a bit of sweetness in every breakup. You are amazing and deserve to be free to try love again. Maybe The Breakup Cleanse: 28 Day Brain Body Detox is for you.  Click Right Here For Info

Curious how strong your love vibration is?  Click right here to schedule a Love Magnet Reading and I will tell help you understand why you are still single: http://catherineb.appointy.com

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10 Truths About Heartbreak And Recovery

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HiRes 150x150 10 Truths About Heartbreak And RecoveryStill looking for love and sick of the search?  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is the single fastest tool I have found to change your luck in love.

 Here are the 10 truths About Heartbreak And Recovery:

1. Past disappointments bury themselves deep in your heart.

2. New love wakes up old fears.

3. Old fears make you jealous, insecure and childish.

4. New love shrinks away from past pain.

5. One more crushing disappointment adds to the vicious cycle.

6. Only you have the power to put an end to your emotional pain.

6. EFT, energy tapping, is the easiest way to eliminate past disappointments for good.

7. You can do EFT at home, by yourself and that will remove your fears, doubts and insecurities about love.

8. Is it time to take action and get back out there? If you still cringe in any way when thinking of a lost love, the answer is no.

9. No matter how perfect your next guy is, eventually he will hurt your feelings and you will be right back into the love starved cycle you know so well.

10. You are the one who can break the pattern of heartbreak in your life. Once you are not anchored to all the past drama and trauma, you can finally attract someone who is a great match.

The evidence is easy to see.  Look at the last 5 men you dated…any prospects?  Or has it been years since you dated anyone?  Read through the truths one more time.

EFT not only helped me move on from abusive relationships in the past, I also used it when I was recovering from cancer and still use it today to keep my life running smoothly. Writing EFT scripts with people just like you is my favorite thing to do….I would love to help set you up for Soul Mate Success….check out a Free Love Magnet Reading and see if you are ready to shake off the old fears and negativity once and for all!  Click Here To Set Up Your Reading

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Best Breakup Cure Ever and A Secret

share save 171 16 Best Breakup Cure Ever and A Secret

bigstock Meeting 4831469 300x200 Best Breakup Cure Ever and A SecretWell, I have been keeping a secret from you.

Since I left my ex, just one year ago, I have been on a healing journey. Betrayed by his false promises and heart broken by his cruelty, I was pretty shell shocked.

I moved out of my home with my computer, my dog and my clothes, leaving everything else behind. Even though I was relieved to be out of his grip and out on my own, my self esteem and self concept were beaten to a pulp.

But something amazing happened.

Something I never saw coming.

A breakup cure that was so efficient, it washed that ex right out of my mind. Truth.

Here is what happened.

I met a much younger man who turned my world upside down with chemistry and knock your socks off sexual skills. This guy, who is not partner material in any way shape or form, opened me up to a world of orgasmic pleasure that has been incredibly healing for me.

I have known my share of bullies in life. I have been in relationship with them. Men who pushed and insisted on sex in such a way that forced me to compromise what was ok for me…over and over. My most recent ex had no sex drive at all and I spent many years limping along with Victor the Vibrator and erotica as my outlet.

When this guy came alone, he was clear with me about his intentions. Not the marrying kind and in it for pleasure only, he invited me to a NSA (No Strings Attached) arrangement that has been, in a word, delicious. I realize that some would judge this as inappropriate or even immoral. I would love to engage my readers in a conversation about that.

I am ready to go public because I have come such a long way in this year and I am feeling fabulous about myself and my self esteem and self concept are flying high. I have learned a lot about sex and pleasure. In fact, I have been writing about it for several months now. You see, once I realized what I have been missing all these years when it comes to sex, I started a blog all about it.

That is my secret. I am ready to share it with you. I am now writing erotica and reaching out to other lonely and sexually unappreciated women (and men) to add more pleasure and excitement to their sex lives.

Regular fabulous orgasms have been very healing for me. Being with a man who is simply a lover with no relationship attached has brought me to a whole new level of personal acceptance and joy in my body and my mind. Will I be in a partnership again one day? I am not so sure. I am having so much fun right now, I want to coast for while.

I would love to invite you over to Angel’s Fantasyland to check it out. Please feel free to leave a review on any story. My writers and I super appreciate your comments! http://AngelSaysYes.com

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How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?

share save 171 16 How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?

bigstock Broken Heart 17913836 300x262 How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?
One year ago today, I walked away from the wrong man and never looked back.

I am making it on my own and having a very good time being single. It is no fun being with the wrong person. I have been second and third guessing myself. What did I miss? How did I not see? Loved ones tell me, don’t be so hard on yourself.

I know, but still. At the end of the day, I picked a dick. I thought he was the right man, it felt right. What went wrong?

I know now that my inner magnetism (my self worth and self esteem) were vibing way to low and I attracted someone with only a fraction of what I needed in a partner.

As happy as I am single, I know that you may very well not be. I respect you for that and I honor your desire to be with a guy. If you have strong longings to be in a couple, I support you 100%. I may be one day, though at the moment, I can’t imagine it. *wry smile*

I am celebrating new beginnings to night and I would love to share my hard earned wisdom with you in the form of a Love Magnet Reading. You spend 15 minutes with me and I will tell you how strong your inner Love Magnet is. There is no cost for this reading. I want to help as many people as I can to check in with their current love vibe.

You may be surprised to know that just because your MIND is telling you that you are ready to be in a couple right now, that doesn’t mean your love magnet is strong enough to bring in that quality of man.

Want to try? Just click this link and you will go directly to my calendar. Look for Love Magnet Reading. First come, first served. Spots will disappear fast. http://catherineb.appointy.com/

share save 171 16 How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?

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