“My partner’s bad mood is NOT in my mind! He is grouchy and mean spirited sometimes and I am SURE I am not 
attracting that behavior. I am not grouchy and mean spirited. How can the Law of Attraction be working when he is so melancholy all of the time and I am not?”
What a great question. Being in the same environment with another person on a day in and day out basis means we have to adjust to what is going on around us all the time. When our housemate is not faring well emotionally, some of us go into hyper rescue mode. We want to remove the bad mood from OUR surroundings so we start trying to help by saying and doing things we think are encouraging.
Have you ever noticed how that always seems to make things worse? The suffering person does not want to be cheered up and the result is sheer frustration. Is it our responsibility to cheer up the wallowing one? More importantly, is there something in us that actually attracts more of the depression we are seeing in our partner?
I don’t claim to understand all of this. Sharing a home with a soul mate ,can often be blissful and fulfilling and I am grateful for those moments, but what do we do when one of the pair is decidedly out of sorts? Here are five tips for coping with your overwhelmed and discouraged house mate without losing your emotional well-being:
1. Acknowledge that his angst is his angst. Tell yourself the facts as you see them. Your boyfriend is going through a challenge. He can’t see the way out. He is not a reader and doesn’t seek help in books. (I know, hard to believe but true.) He is picking at you and that is not cool. These are all good observations and will help you make a plan. It is hard to see him with loving eyes if he is having a pity party, especially if he really wants you in there with him.
2. Check in with yourself and notice what you are feeling. Once again, tell yourself what you are noticing. “I don’t like when he is like this. I feel disconnected and out of the loop. I feel alone and sad. I can’t cheer him up and he gets annoyed when I try. I feel yucky.” Be as honest and descriptive as you can about your own feelings
3. Ask yourself how you WANT to feel. “I want to feel separate from his problems. I want to feel happy and perky. I want to feel light-hearted. I want to feel hopeful and full of expectation. I want to feel encouraged and vibrant.” Just writing down how you want to feel is super empowering. How many of us skip this critical step and then wonder how the whole day goes by with little productivity.
4. Choose your point of focus for YOUR mood of the day. Yes, your partner is struggling and it is excruciating at times to see the emotional turmoil he is going through. Believe it or not, the best thing you can do is to lift your own spirits. Once you write down how you want to feel, you will give your Inner Being the marching orders it loves to fulfill. Your focus on YOUR well-being will change the dynamic in your home….subtley at first but with persistance, the entire mood of your home will shift.
5. Shine your light in his direction. Use your imagination to shower your man with love and light as often as you can. Being an invisible benefactor and fueling him with your highest intentions for his well being is a precious gift. He lets himself be known by you more deeply than any one else and your respect for his transparency will yield results. Sometimes your brightest light toward him will come when you are not with him. Go out and have some fun yourself. Go somewhere he isn’t into and focus on you and your well-being. When you come home, you will be refreshed and energized.
I know it feels unfair at times to just let the grouchy energy be with itself. After all, it is your home too, why do you have to put up with it? See, I can hear you all the way over here. The key is to realize that your reading of another person’s mood is a good thing. It reminds you of how you DON’T want to feel! Don’t try to fix him, make a choice to do something that uplifts YOU. When you get in the habit of responding in this way, you show by example how simple choices can radically change perspective on an issue. And as always, we teach more by our behavior than we do with our words.
