This entry is from the material of Rori Raye, a fellow Relationship Expert who rocks my world with her in your face, result gathering exercises. I have her Modern Siren Program and listen to it over and over again. I know you will enjoy her!
The Vampire Scream by Rori Raye
Have you ever felt so angry and frustrated you wanted to lash out at a man — but then held it all in and watched helplessly as your anger either ended up exploding all over him, or making YOU feel terrible?
I know exactly what that feels like, because my own instincts and all the training I got from girlhood always tell me to stuff my upsetting feelings down.
And when we stuff our feelings down — we end up pushing a man away. We’re taught to do it anyway, to “protect” him, or appear “cool” and “put together” and we’re told to — at all costs — HIDE our insecurities and “unpleasant” feelings.
And yet – our anger at him comes out anyway. We get cold, we get and look unhappy — and most important — we radiate DISAPPOINTMENT in him. And when a man feels he’s disappointed us — he’ll instinctively withdraw.
Nothing we could say to him to convince him we’re not disappointed feels like a lie to him. It doesn’t work.
When I discovered that the secret to bringing a man close is in my own emotions and my ability to feel them and express them in a way he can HEAR — a way that feels GOOD to him and good to me — my love life turned around completely.
So, here’s a new tool I made up working with a client this week that will help you enjoy — yes! — your anger. And I love doing it myself, so we’ll be doing this together today – THE VAMPIRE SCREAM!
If you’re feeling anxious, or tense, or angry or frustrated, or disturbed in any way, try these steps:
1. Notice that what you’re feeling is anxiety.
This could feel like jumpiness, tension in your body, nervousness, fear of something, worry, a sense of unease.
2. Know that this feeling — this tension, this anxiety is like the “lid” on your emotional “Soup.”
And this lid is getting shaky. It’s starting to rattle. The steam is coming out. The gremlins and awful feelings are starting to rise to the surface and that is terrifying. More terrifying than the emotions that are trying to come to the surface!
3. Drop into the Soup.
Just imagine in your mind that this anxiety and tension is somewhere up around your throat and in your head up high in your body. And imagine dropping all of your awareness, and sensations, and this anxious feeling down into your body as low as you can go down into your pelvis, down into your vagina, down into your lowest “chakra.”
4. Turn your attention to what you’re feeling in this lowest part of your body.
It might seem like a mish-mash, or you might even feel numb or blank, but see if you can identify one of the feelings in the Soup — like anger, or grief. Something really powerful.
Let’s say you’ve identified that you feel anger. Now…
5. Really tune into this feeling — this anger.
Imagine what it is you like to do with that feeling. Do you want to hit something or someone? Do you want to hurt something or someone? Is it your situation you’re angry with? Is it a person?
Is it your man?
It doesn’t matter. This tool is all about a”scream,” so let’s go for that.
6. Let’s get ready to scream.
First let’s prepare. Imagine what it would feel like to let go of a scream that would be huge enough to knock down the whole world. Notice what your hands are doing. Are they preparing to move? Imagine what that might feel like coming out of your body. Imagine it coming from the deepest part of you and just overtaking your body and coming out of your body with so much force that everyone on the planet would hear it and know exactly how you feel.
7. Now let’s scream — do it this way:
We’re not going to make a loud sound. We’re not going to actually scream. We’re going to do what I call the “Vampire Scream.” Open your mouth. Drop your jaw all the way down to hold your mouth open as you far as you can. Now imagine a sound and a feeling and a force is crawling up and coming up from the very lowest part of your pelvis.
Now start breathing OUT. Put your arms out in front of you and let them do whatever they want to do. Say — “Ahhh……” Let that “Ahhhh…” out as you exhale and allow it to come from deeper and deeper inside yourself as you run out of air. Let your hands and fingers move in the air in front of you.
Use every last ounce of breath and energy you have. And when you’re done, when you’ve squeezed out every last bit of the”Ahhhh…” then just relax. Let your arms come down when they are ready. Feel free to try this a few times in a row.
What we’ve done here is slid right past your anxiety and into all the terrifying feelings that you’re used to feeling afraid to feel. And now that you’ve felt them, you don’t have to be afraid of them anymore!
Once you’ve touched the Soup — especially a feeling in there that you don’t like — you’re more able to touch all your OTHER feelings.
Once you’ve touched your rage, it’s much easier to touch your bliss.
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