[The Soulmate Secret] The Two Words You MUST Use in Your Soulmate Affirmations

This is the second in a series of articles based on Arielle Ford’s book, The Soulmate Secret. I am sharing the book with the members on my site and these articles come from the experiences of the class.

The Soulmate Secret Chapter 2: Readiness

“I won’t take that off my list.”

“I am sure I know what is right for me.”

“I want to be with an attractive man.”

“I don’t want to marry an old, fat, bald guy.” (Apologies to all the mature, teddy bear guys with sexy shiny heads out there.)

Ladies I have only one question for you.

Are you sure?

Are you absolutely sure you know what your guy needs to look like?

Whenever I remind my students that many newly coupled women say “He wasn’t my type,” some get annoyed with me.  I don’t know how my adorable seeking soul mates hear “You’re going to have to settle and marry a toad” when they hear me say that, but they do.

Nothing pisses my seeking soul mates off faster than the idea that they can’t have a man who is attractive.  But, have you ever thought, attractive to who? Is it important that other people, women in particular see him as attractive? Think about that for a minute.

Who is the judge of attractive enough?  How do you decide?  Isn’t it most important that YOU think he is hot?

Let’s face it, you decided what was hot and what was not a long time ago.  Even in the early grades, some children simply have more charisma than others. Some people attract a lot of attention in every group.

When preteens experience this flow of attention to the popular kids, they begin to adjust themselves to either be in that circle or act like the ones who are.

This is natural and unconscious. What happens is that you get pulled this way and that and out of touch with your own true charisma.

When the teenage years come and there is sexual chemistry, money and mobility, relationships get very dramatic, both girl friends and boy friends. If your family is falling apart it is chaotic in all of your environments. No wonder people get gun shy, right?

Dr. Brit Brogaard in her ground breaking research reports that the reason the Bachelorette and Bachelor TV shows are so charged is because danger chemicals as well as sexual chemicals are released in the contrived risky romances on the show. Helicopter rides, bungee jumps and cliff climbing create a chemical cocktail that guarantees bonding.

“Take a date to the amusement park and go on the roller coaster together and you will create an instant connection” laughs Dr. Brit, “whether it is a lasting connection remains to be seen, but the power of the chemistry cannot be denied.”

The fact is that a part of you is way too obsessed with this appearance thing. Seriously, once you are together a few years, what he looks like is completely unimportant and you barely notice.

In day to day life and certainly at night, appearance is highly over rated. The fact that you get upset when this topic comes up is ok. All it means is you are tracking down a limiting belief. You get annoyed at this topic because a part of you believes you can’t be happy unless you get your way when it comes to your man’s appearance.

Here’s where the two words come in. I bet you thought I forgot. The two words to add to any physical appearance affirmations are, drum roll please…. TO ME.

That’s it. Try these:

I want to be with a gorgeous man to me.

I want to be with a good looking man to me.

I want to be with a delicious man to me.

I want to be with a handsome man to me.

I want to be with the most attractive man I’ve ever been with.

I want to feel strong magnetism with my man.

I want to enjoy amazing sexual chemistry with my man.

These are powerful statements of belief. Girl, you are not, I repeat not going to have to marry a toad to have a happily ever after. I promise you. When you can release this grand daddy of limiting beliefs, you will radiate a light and peaceful vibe. When you see how people respond to you when you are unwound about this, you will be amazed.

When you start making affirmations that are coming out of a light, calm and heart centered energy, you will feel the difference. Relax and trust the natural unfolding of life. Allow yourself to suspend the doubt that you will be drawn to the perfect mate. Relax and trust the ease and flow that surrounds you.

What do you think? Is physical appearance a deal breaker for you? How’s it working for you?  Leave a comment and let us know what you think about it.

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4 thoughts on “[The Soulmate Secret] The Two Words You MUST Use in Your Soulmate Affirmations

  1. This is powerful stuff, Catherine. And so true. My late husband was handsome to me; I thought he looked like Elvis. My new husband is handsome to me, though he has gained quite a bit of weight in the short time we’ve been together. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

    On another note, my cats are the most beautiful creatures in the world, but to a person who prefers dogs, they would not be considered so. What is beautiful to me is just fine.

    Thanks for the blog post. Michelle

  2. WOW…this couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me!! I just knew i couldn’t be the only gal out there with the same challenge! WHY do i have to settle for the toad?!! And HOW in the world will that make me happy?!! Like MANY women, i had my list of 30+ qualities i expected to find in a soul mate. All of which were, of course, must haves! Or so i thought until i met my “Mr. perfect” key word… here it comes” for me”. To make a long story short, he is EVERYTHING i want in a partner : great communication skills, respects me, great humor, kind to people/animals,active in the community, good relationship with his family and friends, Financially stable,Spiritual,,,,,,you get the idea. The only draw back was..you guessed it : he probably wouldn’t be people magazine’s “Sexiest man alive” anytime soon….Though he does have great “assets” ;-)! What i have come to realize is that even though we all have a “TYPE”, an idea of what our prince charming will “LOOK” like, we use our eyes instead of our hearts to look for what we know we want or need thinking that the ideal exterior will, naturally, contain the qualities that we want. And more often than not, we usually end up regretting it or feeling frustration and anger towards the cruelty of the universe for having such a sick humor. ” He was so perfect, if only he wasn’t a raging alcoholic/ workaholic/ womanizer”….fill in the blank! I guess my humble lesson learned was that i had to let my authentic self, my heart do the seeing, after making sure that the guy wasn’t an axe murderer of course, and have not regretted one minute since then. Im soo glad i learned that lesson and was able to accept this amazing gift that is perfect “FOR ME” 🙂 Thank you universe!!

  3. Hey Happy and Healthy,

    Thanks so much for stopping by! I love love love your story. I explain to my single ladies that they will one day get this. Everyone gets it eventually but what few understand is that the brain, the intellect is not good at interpreting True Love. The mind cannot understand things of the heart and that tug of war is awful.

    I really appreciate your candid story!

    Love,
    Catherine

  4. Thanks Michelle, I love your perspective. I love that your new hubby makes you glow even though there is more of him to love. Nothing a couple of Salsa lessons wouldn’t cure!

    Love You!
    Catherine

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