Do you remember the scene from Sex and the City where 
Carrie slept with that college kid?
When she woke up in the morning, facing the Walk of Shame, she squealed as she looked around the room.
The place was a disaster, there was no toilet paper and there was a room mate passed out under the table.
Did she have a good time on the date? Oh yeah. Did they have a second date? Uh, no. What do you do if you attract a fairly great guy whose life is a mess? How do you know what is negotiable and what is not?
When you attract the next significant man in to your life, there will be no mistaking the connection. Like a magnet, your similar interests and personality characteristics will be naturally and irresistibly drawn to each other. That is a good thing.
As you get to know each other and you both relax more of your true natures can be seen. So far so good. But, this is where it gets tricky.
If his lifestyle, ambition, work ethic, habits or attitudes become problematic, all you need to do is make mindful decisions each step of the way.
Don’t let your mind mess with you by focusing on the future. Simply balance his true positives with his true negatives and choose your way forward.
Many times terrific guys are just rough around the edges and need some friendly coaching to know how to partner you correctly.
You can cut a guy slack and tell him what you prefer when it comes to what you want from him, but if he resists what you need and you doubt his motives, you are developing your deal breakers. Here’s what to do:
1. Take a moment and breathe into your heart. Ask yourself, “Is it in my highest good to be with this man?” Feel how that question resonates within you as you ask it.
2. Do you cringe? Listen to the cringe. Compromise will always be a part of a successful relationship but sacrifice is never Ok. Sacrifice is never OK.
3. If there is a lot of chemistry between you, it may seem impossible to accept that everything in you is saying RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, yet you must.
You must stop the relationship if it demands too much compromise on your part to stay together.
4. Finally, give yourself a lot of credit. You attracted a guy who is almost but not quite, right? The only way to ID your deal breakers is to get to know your guy long enough for him to let down his guard a little. Then you can see his different moods, habits and attitudes over time.
5. Keep checking in and if it feels like a strong YES for you, keep talking, keep negotiating and keep moving forward. You will feel it in your gut. Tune in and you will feel a yes. If it is not there, stall until you are ready.
There is a delicious tension in the first few months of any relationship that is irreplaceable. Enjoy the heck out of it.
I am working on a new project and your experiences are incredibly helpful to me as I write and teach these skills. Please leave your comments and share your stories. Have you ever compromised too much to stay with someone?
cool advise
Thanks Pam!
Hello Everyone!
There has been lots written on The Law of Attraction and many say it does not work. It does and it does not work. This depends on how precise, concrete and specific you are. The Law of Attraction is “blind” and obedient. It gives you what you exactly ask for. If, for example you want an unconditional love, the Law of Atrraction interprets the this sentence literally.
There was a lady in my seminar who formulated such desire, i.e. the desire of having an unconditional love and she got what asked for – an unconditional, loving dog, but this is NOT what she had in mind, but an uncondiotional, loving man.
The problem with formulating our wants and desires is that we are not so specific, concrete and exact enough. Especify what it is that you really want and desire in your life? I want to lose weight, for example is not specific enough. Is this what your heart really desires? Then say so specifically; how many kilos do you want to lose in a month’s time and in how much time to lose those extra kilos? Twenty kg in 1 month? Ask yourself this question “Is this realistic?” This may likely not going to happen. It is not realistic; it is not achievable. This is not how The Law of Attraction works. But if you say “I want to lose 20 kilos in 6 months @ 3 kg or so in 1 month, then it is realistic and fairly achievable.
Anythinng or anyone that which you want to attract into your life, be SPECIFIC & REALISTIC enough. Then The Law of Attraction gives what you’re asking for. Refrain from being vague. – Ross Galan, NLP Spiritual Life Coach –