Stressing and Obsessing about that ex of yours has to come to an end. How badly do you want 
a guy who really treats you right? Seriously, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you crave a forever partner?
Can you see how important it is to get control over your emotions? How attractive are you when you are freaking out?
Guy Kayasaki in his FAB book Enchantment, describes an excellent boss who remains at the top of his game because he constantly reminds himself what a tough boss he is to work with.
You have to face the fact that you are a complicated package. You feel things deeply and don’t feel understood very often. Don’t you get hurt feelings a lot of the time? How attractive is that, right?
I recently got this question from a frustrated Rapunzel, one of my private members, who has no trouble seeing her faults, in fact she has slipped to the other side of the equation and is ‘beating up on herself’ at her inability to stop stressing and obsessing. Here is her note and my answer:
Dear Catherine,
Sometimes I start using EFT on an issue and then another becomes apparent and another and so on and then I feel very overwhelmed at which one I need to focus on, in other words, which issue is the core issue?
I then feel very frustrated and angry with myself for having so many issues and for not being tough enough to “get over myself”!
Is there an exercise that can help find the core issue so that I can focus on that? Does anyone else feel this way sometimes?
Hi Rapunzel,
Thanks for such a great question!
When you are tapping on a problem and another problem comes to your mind, we have a couple of things to hash out.
Here are some tips for creating a great tapping script when you are overwhelmed:
1. You will have easiest results when you get to as specific an incident to tap on as possible. For example, Bossy Betty at work is not good to tap on, the time Bossy Betty spilled coffee on the report you had been working on for three weeks is. If you are not specific enough, your mind searches for something to hook on to and jumps all over the place.
2. If Bossy Betty is the problem, think of the last thing she did that really got to you. Then get out a notebook and write the thing down, in movie title form:
The Time Bossy Betty Spilled Coffee on the Report. (Sometimes my beloved Rapunzels point out to me that Bossy Betty does 100 things a day that are annoying. I know. But to kick start your brain into the pleasure zone, you have to pick one.)
Now ask yourself: What Bugs Me About That? Wait for the answer. Write 
it down and then ask the question again. Keep repeating until you reach the end.
This is magical brain detective work and will help you find what is really at the bottom of your reaction to Bossy Betty.
Here is an example:
The Time that Bitch Bossy Betty Ruined my Report. (A Little Drama Allowed)
What bugs me about that? I worked so hard on the thing.
What bugs me about that? Not only did I not get credit, now I have to start over.
What bugs me about that? Her stupidity
What bugs me about that? People should know better
What bugs me about that? People are so careless
What bugs me about that? People should care
What bugs me about that? People should care about how hard I work
What bugs me about that? They are taking advantage of me
What bugs me about that? I hate it here
What bugs me about that? I’m wasting so much time.
I recently heard a quote I love. Life is 20% what happens to you and 80% how you react to it. So, so true. Take your time and just keep asking the question over and over until you get the true answer.
Now you have the perfect EFT tapping script. Just go through the points tapping on each answer. Then finish with a round that says this or something like it:
“Thank you Universe that dingy Bossy Betty spilled the bleepin’ coffee on my report because if she didn’t, I wouldn’t have tracked down that place in my brain that hid the pain from me.
Thank you for showing me the parts of my brain that make me feel overwhelmed. Thank you for helping me calm and settle my brain chemistry.”
It might feel weird to use words like brain and brain chemistry when you are manifesting your soul mate but go 
ahead and do it anyway. Your brain is confused… programmed wrong….. it is the root of your love sabotage.
Life has conditioned your brain to act as if Love hurts and is potentially fatal (I know that is a little dramatic, but the Saboteur’s love it that way….that’s why you are still single!)
When you track down the grand daddy aha at the bottom of your questions, you then bring refreshing restorative pleasure brain chemicals into that very place. Sweet relief?
You bet, and remember, Abraham Hicks has been telling us for years that our number one goal should be relief. They are so so right!
You can train your brain to fall in love. Keep using all the tools you are learning. EFT is my personal favorite, however there are literally dozens of techniques you can use to change your brain’s chemical state.
Your job is to recognize when you are freaking out and deal with it as a physical brain issue first. This takes practice, but you can do it. Once you relieve the stress chemicals and find relief, then make the decision that is freaking you out. Then for sure you will stop freaking out about your ex.
