“My ex drove by me today and I almost threw up. I couldn’t believe how that wave of nausea hit me. It has been a whole year and I thought I was over him. I can’t believe it. Luckily I was near a Starbucks so I ran in to the bathroom, sat on the throne and composed myself. Will I ever get over him?”
Has this ever happened to you? I know it happened to me. I thought I was completely over some one. He had wrangled his way into my heart and even though he was absolutely the wrong kind of man, he was so devilishly charming and the seduction was delicious. When the inevitable breakup happened…he ran for the hills the minute I fell for him, I was heartbroken.
It took a long time to get over the shock of it. I tried everything. I 
remember visualizing him in a big slingshot between two palm trees, pulling back and flinging him out into the universe.
The bugger would never stay out there. He came back night after night, day after day I obsessed over “what we had”…which was nothing more than a speck on the radar of life.
I wrestled with my ex in my inner world for months and eventually evicted him for good. Or so I thought. Two years after the breakup, I saw him in a bar. He didn’t see me, thankfully. My heart literally skipped a beat, my knees got weak and nausea hit me. Then I realized it wasn’t even him, it was only someone who looked like him. Man.
Breakups are hard to put behind you. When you let someone come very close and you let down your guard to create a connection it is a huge gamble. There are no guarantees when it comes to love and if you have loved and lost, you may be blaming yourself for picking the wrong person. The heartbreak is literally branded into parts of your brain and then sealed off so you can survive.
As bad as you feel right now, it could be worse. Your brain is working over time to cope with the constant flow of stress chemicals in your body. Blocking some of the painful memories is part of the plan. It is like some inner guardian parcels out the pain in small enough amounts to handle.
Part of the reason breakups are so bad is because they pull on the wounds from all the earlier betrayals you have experienced.
The emotional pain of any loss dissolves itself gradually for some people. Time passing, new loves, friendships and career changes restore confidence and self esteem.
For some though, the pain doesn’t dissolve. It stays buried until you see a reminder….then the flood of original feelings comes right back, as strong as ever.
If this is you, it is time that you take control of these past breakups once and for all. I know from personal experience that very painful memories from the past can be neutralized with the right tools. It is possible to get over your ex, once and for all.
Lastly, here is a little Love Magnet test for you, wonder how strong your love vibe is? Think back to a significant breakup in your past. Allow yourself to remember the worst day. Think about the worst moment in that day. On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful was it? Today, as you think about it, how strong is the echo of that pain?
If it is under 3, that means you are on your way to detaching from him 
but he still has energy in your emotions. If it is higher than that, you are definitely radiating fear of getting hurt again. That energy trumps your love vibe. If it is still red hot and flaming, your fear of being hurt in love is controlling your every move.
What if you could wash him right out of your mind? Wishful thinking? No. The very best thing you can do is to detox your body and mind. Because of Dr. Brit Brogaard’s research, you can now walk through your breakup healing with a step by step plan.
We just completed our 28 day breakup recovery journal with unique processes for ejecting that ex from your mind. Read all about it right here: The Breakup Cleanse. Dr. Brit teaches Sex 101 and Sexual ethics classes at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. She is amazing. You can read all about the scientific proof behind breakup recovery right here: http://LovesickLove.com
personally, I think that getting over someone is all about the person himself not about his/her loved one. This is simply because people cannot get over the fact that they are rejected, so working on their self esteem, they would have never suffered like that.
Hi Ali,
Thanks for stopping by. I agree with you. I also think we are conditioned to certain mindsets by the circumstances that life presents. It is physiologically harder for some people to break through bad habits. Operating on high alert for long periods of time, exhaustion is common and it is easier to suffer in silence.
I think focusing on being your best self as often as possible will always attract upbeat and ultimately beneficial people into your life.
Cheers!