“When we are out in public, he ignores me, but when we are home, he is perfect.”
“He acts like a boyfriend but won’t let me call him my “boyfriend.”
“I really like him but I don’t trust him.”
What is wrong with these sentences? Why are these thoughts holding this woman back from finding True Love?
Let me give you a clue. Each of these statements are all about HIM, right? As long as you are focused on HIM first and yourself second, you will never find a man who will be a great match for you.
Look how these thoughts change simply by rearranging the words putting YOU into the place of power:
“When we are out together, I spend a lot of time alone, but when we are home together, I feel more connected.”
“I feel disconnected from him because I don’t call him “boyfriend” when I wish I could.”
“I am not sure I can go forward with someone I don’t trust.”
Remember, you have a wild streak of insecurity that was born when you were about 13 or so. A part of you decided that the only way to feel ok about boys was to pretend you were someone else.
Shy Snow Whites craved the social easiness and flirtiness of Scarlett. Rapunzels seethe under the surface because their men have a wondering eye and blame the naturally flirty Scarletts who seem to steal them away. Scarletts struggle with female friendships and prefer male companionship. This natural ease makes Snow White crazy…and on it goes.
Now that you are still single and time is going faster and faster, do you have to settle? Do you have to accept something you really don’t want in a man to have a husband?
The simple answer is NO, of course not. But don’t be fooled, in order to find the perfect guy, you have to be dead honest about your TRUE deal breakers. If you are with a guy who is a naturally flirty character, and haven’t we all known one, you have to be completely honest with yourself.
Say this: “I am 100% comfortable with a flirty man.” On a scale of 1 to 10, how does that feel to you. If you get a rock solid 10…then you have your answer.
If you have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach when you say this statement, you also have your answer. You will make yourself crazy if you try to MAKE your flirty guy stop flirting.
What to do? Try this:
1. Admit that you hate his flirtiness. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you hate is?
2. Open a word doc on your computer and write a letter to the Universe. Write how unfair it is that you fell in love with this type of man. Let yourself get mad. Feel the unfairness.
3. Repeat this statement: “I don’t know how to fix this situation, but I am sure that I want a man who only has eyes for me.”
4. Write about HOW you will recognize an “unflirty” man. Recall the behavior of flirty men in your past and write a list of how you PREFER to be treated.
5. EXTRA CREDIT: To turbo charge your results, write a THANK YOU letter to the flirty men in your past. This letter is not for you to send. It is a chance to finalize your decision to let go of these men and to meet men who only have eyes for you.
The men are not BAD MEN, they are immature and unaware of how to treat women….or at least how to treat you. Only you can change your expectations, your dreams and your results.
