I have a beautiful wind chime hanging outside my studio. We have a breeze every afternoon and the sound is heavenly. This particular chime contains the notes of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy and every now and then you can hear that melody within the cluster of notes.
This morning, instead of hearing the usual harmony, I heard something like this. Ding. Ding. Ding. Clank. I know this gets lost in translation but bear with me. I haven’t gone out to inspect it yet, but I have a feeling one of the pipes is wrapped around one of it’s sisters strings.
Even though most of the pipes are hanging and ringing properly, it is amazing how that single ‘clank’ makes my hair stand up on end. The harmony of the whole completely altered by one piece out of tune.
I know just how that wind chime feels. My life can be going really well in many areas. Smooth sailing, soul satisfying events and contentedness are definitely a part of my daily life. But, then there are those annoying out of tune parts. No matter how hard I try to hide them from the breezes of life, they insist of clanging away creating disharmony. Plus, if the truth were told, most of my out of sorts moments come because I am tangled up in someone else’s drama.
Let me give you an example. At the moment, my health is great, my career is developing nicely, my romantic life is rich and entertaining, my weight is good, my finances are balancing after a challenging time and all of that feels really good. But still I struggle with worry about my adult kids, bless them.
If I allow my mind to dwell on their circumstances, I am pulled surely and tangibly out of balance. I tell myself, out loud so I can hear it, “That is their drama and they can handle it.”
Learning to choose what I am going to spend my time thinking about has been life altering, to say nothing of the lovelier melody I am when I am completely in tune.
How do you know you have a clanking chime? Just like the fingernails down the chalkboard kind of feeling you get hearing a flat note, your body will give you clues about being out of tune. Some feel a general all over edgy feeling, some get pain in their shoulder or lower back, some get digestion upset and others just feel heavy and sluggish.
Once you recognize that you are just out of tune, you can do something about that right away. Go outside
and take a couple of deep breaths, take a brisk walk and shake it off….literally. This will automatically energize you. You will add dimension if you talk to a like minded friend, someone who will focus the conversation on positive aspects of your situation.
What does any of this have to do with making your man perfect? Everything! If your man does not have to take responsibility for your mood, if you can recognize and attend to your own emotional balance, he will feel his own share of relief. Most guys are ill equipped naturally to ‘tune’ us, you know, to say just the right thing to change our perspective.
When you are caring for your own inner harmony, you make yourself that much more irresistible to him. There is nothing more appealing than a calm, confident and joyful woman.
What tune are you playing these days?
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Hi Catherine,
I love this article. It is SO true, and absolutely everyone can relate to it.
Many moons ago (pre-husband) a very wise boyfriend said to me, “just remember, you control your own thoughts – no one else – so you make the decision on what you’re going to dwell on.”
Or as my dearly departed mom always said, “You can be as happy as you want to be, or as miserable as you want to be – the choice is yours.” Amen!
Keep up the great articles – love them!
Patricia
Hi Patricia,
We can all do with a little more sense of humor, don’t you think?
I am beginning to think that humor may be the single most important aspect of a long term relationship, what do you think?
Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. Be sure to leave your blog url with your name!
Catherine
http://jointheblogversation.wordpress.com